25 Gender-Coded Words To Avoid And Better Alternatives

Love, Geeky Girl

By: Dani Kessel

The patriarchy relies on women to keep each other down so that we don’t pay attention to the ways society is structured to keep us away from positions of power. We do so dialectically often without even realizing it. Words have power to influence the way we see the world. 

Fully grown adult women are called girls, infantilizing the gender as a whole. A woman airing grievances is called hormonal or hysterical, a term that origins back to the false idea of a floating uterus causing symptoms of anxiety, depression, etc. A woman who happens to be working and helping raise a family is a working-mom, denoting them as a caregiver first and foremost. These gender-coded words, among many others, wouldn’t normally be used to refer to a man. We need to reexamine the way we speak to and about one another to foster a culture of…

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Changes You Make In A Long Distance Relationship

Love, Geeky Girl

By: Dani Kessel

Before I married my partner, we spent three and a half years in long distance. We were told a million times over that our relationship would fail because “long distance never works.” We are living proof that isn’t entirely true though. Long distance is hard. It isn’t for the faint of heart. But, just like any other relationship dynamic, people grow and adapt to make things work. There are many positive internal changes you make when entering into a long distance relationship.

You learn to communicate effectively.

Being apart from each other means you have to make the most of your communication. Coordinating schedules, planning visits, arranging romantic and intimate time, and explicitly expressing your needs are all things you get in the habit of doing. When you speak, you are more inclined to have meaningful conversations. This skill translates well into all other relationships in your…

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I Won’t Be A Well-Behaved Woman

Love, Geeky Girl

By: Dani Kessel

If you were assigned female at birth or you identify/present as a woman, you are told on a daily basis what you are expected to be. You need to be soft spoken, mild mannered, friendly to everyone. Have the perfect body. Cross your legs. Don’t take up too much space. Smile more. Put others’ needs before your own. Don’t demand too much. Get married and settle down with a nice man. Procreate. Basically be the perfectly well-behaved woman. We’ve heard it all before.

The truth is that I will never be what society wants me to be. 

I am too tall. I don’t have flawless skin. I’m too curvy and weigh too much. I like comic books, video games, pop culture. I’m too nerdy for my own good. I don’t want the white picket fence. I’m not straight; I’m bi. I’m certainly gender nonconforming. I hate dresses…

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Tips For Maintaining Your Mental Health While On Vacation

Love, Geeky Girl

By: Dani Kessel

Many people rarely go on vacation, so they constantly expend energy and keep on the move to enjoy it to the fullest. They plan every second of every minute of every day. This drive can be great for adventures. It can also result in mental burnout if left unchecked though. Ask yourself this: Will you really enjoy your vacation if by the end you are too exhausted to get back to your daily life? As an avid traveler and someone who has moved around my whole life, I’ve picked up tips to help maintain a healthy mental state while on your trip. Here are my best suggestions as you plan everything out.

Schedule breaks to rest and recuperate.

This may sound strange in reference to vacation, but give yourself some empty time slots within your busy schedule. When you work in rest time, you are less likely…

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Seven Painful Realities Of Being A Millennial *Guest Post*

I’ve been on vacation from my writing jobs, so you haven’t seen much from me. It’s nice to take a little time for my husband, pup, and in-laws. But in the meantime, here is a more serious post I wrote for Love, Geeky Girl.

When you’re done reading this, go over to the website to check out Sam’s December daily Blogmas posts. She’s put fantastic content out for Blogmas.

I will officially be back writing again in the first week of January.

Have a happy Christmas, Kwaanza, Hanukkah, Yule, Winter Solstice, New Year, and any/every other holiday you might celebrate!

-Dani

Love, Geeky Girl

By Dani Kessel

When you’re a millennial, you get called all the names in the book. You’re called ungrateful, lazy, entitled, etc. But most millennials know that this is the furthest thing from the truth. The world has drastically changed over the past few decades. So, when I see posts about things millennials need to learn about the world, I either laugh or get really frustrated. Older folks don’t seem to understand the ways the painful realities that the millennial generation has faced. 

So, here are seven of the most painful experiences that will make almost every millennial say, “YEP!”

1. Boomers infantilize us constantly.

Generations are grouped together based on age groups, common experiences, defining world events, and a collective consciousness (further filtered by race, gender, class, and other intersectional identities). The millennial generation spans from 1981-1996 according to the Pew Research Center. The youngest millennials are 23 (or…

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Stop Harassing Women At The Hardware Store *Guest Post* — Love, Geeky Girl

By Dani Kessel Today, I went to the hardware store. I needed supplies to put together some Christmas presents. I’d planned everything out beforehand. I knew exactly what I needed, and I’ve been to that specific hardware store enough times to know where everything is. My trip should’ve been simple enough and not required social […] … Continue reading Stop Harassing Women At The Hardware Store *Guest Post* — Love, Geeky Girl

I’m Having A Hard Night (A Stream of Consciousness Post)

  I'm having a really hard night, as you probably already guessed from my post title. I'm in immense pain. My back hurts where I got surgery. The change in weather, temperature, and air pressure has taken a toll on my nervous system. I'm at 8 or 9 level pain on my back. (Some people … Continue reading I’m Having A Hard Night (A Stream of Consciousness Post)

Practical Gifts For Your Chronically-Ill Loved Ones *Guest Post* — Love, Geeky Girl

Hi everybody! Here is my most recent post on Love, Geeky Girl. If you enjoyed it, let me know. Also, go subscribe to that blog too! Sam is always putting up great content to read. It’s the holiday season again! With Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, St. Nicholas Tag, Saturnalia, Winter Solstice, and Pancha Ganapati all coming … Continue reading Practical Gifts For Your Chronically-Ill Loved Ones *Guest Post* — Love, Geeky Girl