Where Have the Manners Gone?

It’s a terrible epidemic that people, today, are losing their knowledge of manners.

The way I was raised, you respect those older than you. You call people ma’am and sir, Mrs., miss, and Mr. You offer anyone older than you your seat. Please and thank you were a required commodity in my house. You aren’t on your phone or reading or doing anything else when you are spending time with someone. (No books at the dinner table were my biggest problem.) You make noise when you enter a room. Greet the person coming into the room. You wait for everyone to have food at a dinner table before eating. Chew with your mouth closed. Don’t talk with your mouth full. Always clean up your mess after yourself. Etc.

I may not be perfect at all of these, but I find that nowadays, few people even try to show common curtesy. It irks me. It is becoming more acceptable to disregard others- showing up hours late to a commitment you made, not greeting the guests at your party, expecting others to pay for you at something you planned. Why have we fallen so far as a society?

A prime example I find of this is the song Rude by MAGIC! I don’t understand why exactly this song was written how it was or why it’s popular, but I DESPISE most of the lyrics.

First off, I may be old fashioned, but I believe it’s right to ask for the father’s blessing (not permission) when it comes to proposing. Yes, the woman is an adult (hopefully) and can make her own decisions. This is not a question of her capability to think for herself, or her father’s “claim” to her. She is obviously not property. However, the father spent his whole life raising her. She is his pride and joy. It’s just plain polite and respectful to ask him for his blessing. And if he chooses not to give it, then it’s up to her if she still wants to marry the guy.

Second off, WHY WOULD YOU INSULT THE FATHER OF THE WOMAN YOU INTEND ON MARRYING?????? (Yes, the caps lock and blatant disregard for grammar rules was necessary here.) Maybe it’s just me, but calling her dad rude seems like a gigantically poor decision. This guy does realize that if they get married, he will have to interact with her dad for the rest of his life, right? He’s not going anywhere and unless she cuts the father out, he is basically stuck with him.

Third off, telling the father that the guy is going to basically steal his daughter away from him by marrying her anyways, running away, and starting a family (implying that the father won’t be a part of any of this) can definitely cause some issues between the person proposing and the intended wife.

So, on that note, I wrote my own alternative lyrics to the song from the daughter’s perspective.

Saturday morning, jumped out of bed, you put on your best suit

Got in your car, showed up at my door, I was surprised to see you

You got on one knee, pulled out a ring, and asked me the question

But I wouldn’t answer till you asked my dad, yeah, yeah

 

You said, can I have your daughter for the rest of my life

Say yes, say yes, well you needed to know

He said you can’t have my blessing son, sorry but no

Tough luck my friend, but you’ll have to go

 

Then you go and call him rude, I see a different side of you

Why you gotta call him rude? You say you’ll marry me anyways

Marry that girl, no matter what he says

Marry that girl, you say we’ll run away

Marry that girl, we would be a family

But you went and called him rude

 

I hate to do this, but I can’t marry you if you treat my family that way

Love him or leave him, he is my daddy, and he is here to stay

I could deal with it if he opposed, but anybody who has manners knows

Don’t disrespect him or neglect him, he is my hero

 

If you wanna have me for the rest of your life

You gotta prove, gotta prove you can handle stress

If you can’t handle this with grace, you can’t handle me

And I’m not the girl to just say yes

 

Why you gotta call him rude? I’m seein’ a different side of you

You’re the one who’s being rude, you say you’ll marry me anyways

Marry that girl, no matter what he says

Marry that girl, you say we’ll run away

Marry that girl, we would be a family

But then you went and called him rude

 

You said, can I have your daughter for the rest of my life

Say yes, say yes, well you needed to know

He said you can’t have my blessing son, sorry but no

Tough luck my friend, but you’ll have to go

 

Then you go and call him rude, I see a different side of you

Why you gotta call him rude? You say you’ll marry me anyways

Marry that girl, no matter what he says

Marry that girl, you say we’ll run away

Marry that girl, we would be a family

But you went and called him rude

 

If you wanna have me for the rest of your life

You gotta prove, gotta prove you can handle stress

If you can’t handle this with grace, you can’t handle me

And I’m not the girl to just say yes

 

Why you gotta call him rude? I’m seein’ a different side of you

You’re the one who’s being rude, you say you’ll marry me anyways

Marry that girl, well here’s my answer babe

Marry that girl, we aint gonna run away

Marry that girl, we won’t be a family

Don’t you go and call me rude

You’re the one who’s being rude

Why you gotta be so rude?

 

Or conversely, as Weird Al said in an interview recently, you can’t really call someone rude without being rude yourself, so Well I’d NEVER!”

Anyways, these are just some of my thoughts on the subject of manners. I hope you enjoyed my alternative lyrics. Let me know what some old-fashioned manners you miss seeing are!

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