Slut-Shaming is NOT Okay

Warning: I censored the title from what it originally was as a courtesy to any readers who might not appreciate the content of this post. As you can tell, even from the censored title, this blog post is going to be talking about a very controversial topic, displaying some strong opinions, and will contain explicit language. I don’t want to upset anybody; however, I personally feel that this topic is absolutely necessary to write about. So, if any of this would offend you, please don’t read the post. Thanks for your understanding!

 

 

For the purpose of this blog post we will be addressing my personal definition of slut-shaming: the degrading and dehumanizing of a woman for how she looks, what she wears, how she behaves, or the choices she makes.

 

 

Hello anyone who is still reading this, I would like to let you all in on a little secret you probably already know.

Women like sex.

*sarcastic gasp*

You mean to tell me that we have the same impulses and thoughts and wants as men? You mean to tell me that women are actually human beings? Whaaaaaaaaat?! That’s ludicrous!

YES! Believe it or not, it is actually true. Women like sex. Women think about sex. Women talk about sex. Women also have bodies that come in different shapes and sizes. Women may feel very confident in their bodies. Women may wear clothing that shows off some skin. Women could want to take pictures of themselves completely nude. Women might choose to keep those pictures for themselves or give them to someone else. Women could go to a party and decide to get really drunk. If propositioned, women can say yes to sex. Women can say no to sex. Women can proposition a man for sex. Moral of the story: Women are people who can make choices about what they want to do and say and think and feel.

So, here’s a question: why is it that being believed to do any of these things (even if you’re not) or actually doing any of these things (plus an array of other things) can get you degraded and labeled as a “slut” in our society? For some reason there seems to be this misconception going around that women are asexual, we are the most proper of all people, or at the very least we are in complete and total control of our urges and desires. However, I don’t know how anyone in their right mind could hold us to these standards. WE ARE HUMANS PEOPLE!

 

Women and men alike use the term “slut” to degrade women for expressing and being comfortable in their sexuality, but what’s wrong with that? Whether that means you have a lot of sex with a bunch of people, a little sex with a few people, have a lot of sex with one person, have a little sex with one person, or have no sex at all—being comfortable in your choices about sex and sexuality is important!

Furthermore, society’s current expectations for women are a dichotomy. We either are prudes or we are sluts. We are either virgins or we are whores. Either way we lose because society expects us to be sexual but not sexually available. We are supposed to be attractive enough to objectify (which is another issue of its own) but not submit to our any desires. And hell, if we don’t look sexual enough or if we are actually sexually available then we are automatically categorized and shamed for our choices. When is this madness going to end?

 

To be frank, the whole concept of slut-shaming is incredulous.

One example, if you believed the people who slut-shamed at my school, I was 100% a slut. Because my body is very developed, I have a difficult time finding clothes that don’t accentuate my curves. I can wear a t-shirt and jeans and still have people looking at my boobs and ass. The only thing I ever found to draw attention away from my body shape was a hoodie and sweatshirt, and half the time I would’ve died of heat stroke if I wore that. Also, my group of friends were a bunch of guys and very few girls. The biggest reason for this was because I was a tomboy growing up. It wasn’t some stupid ploy for attention; I just got along better with guys. But, none of that mattered in the grand scheme of things. Despite the fact that I was nowhere near sleeping around, I was labeled as a slut and people believed it.

Another example, I have been slut-shamed for wearing clothing which somebody else deemed inappropriate to their standards. Now, I am not saying people can’t have their own standards for what they want to wear; however, when I am wearing a dress that goes down to my knees, is only very slightly low-cut, and I’m wearing a jacket which covers my shoulders and arms, there is no reason assumptions should be made about me. Even for somebody who isn’t comfortable with showing off skin, that is a relatively conservative outfit.

 

Let’s just establish now, having a curvaceous body DOES NOT MAKE YOU A SLUT. Hanging out with a bunch of guys DOES NOT MAKE YOU A SLUT. Wearing clothing which shows any kind of skin DOES NOT MAKE YOU A SLUT. In fact, even sleeping with multiple men DOES NOT MAKE YOU A SLUT.

It’s nobody’s right to dehumanize you for sleeping around. Someone may not like what you choose to wear. Someone may not agree with you flirting a lot. Someone may not like your decision to take nude photographs with your boyfriend or husband. And they have the right to dislike those things. But if you’re an adult, you have the right to do all of that without being labelled as something lesser than the rest of your gender. Nothing, I repeat NOTHING, gives anyone the right to demean someone else for disagreeing with them.

So, wear what clothes you want. Act how you want to. Make choices you are comfortable with. Don’t feel pressured to do or be somebody you’re not. And that goes in every which way possible because at the end of the day, all anybody wants is the right to be who they want to be.

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