Thanks for taking the time to come back again and again. I know I haven’t posted much lately. I’ve been radio silent from most social media. Here’s the biggest reason:
I’ve been on edge, panicked, anxious, scared, angry, and grieving because of all the things going on politically in the world. There has been so much to say. I haven’t had the right words to say any of it. Nothing seemed to express the emotions or thoughts rattling around my brain. I’d write a post and then just delete it. I wouldn’t give it a second or third edit. I knew it wasn’t the right words.
The emotional toll that the current state of the world has taken on me is more than I can handle a lot of times. I feel drained beyond belief. I keep up with the news though because I don’t like to be ignorant to current events. There are a lot of things affecting myself and the people I love. I feel constantly alert. This is not good for me. I may always be reading and listening, but sometimes the only way that I can have any reprieve is to drown it all out with meaningless activities. That’s where I’ve been for a while. I don’t know if that makes sense or not. It’s my only functioning coping method though.
But, I’m back again because I’ve figured out that writing helps with more than I give it credit for.
I get trapped in this cyclone of depressive, chaotic, many times irrational thoughts without any way to organize or make sense. Writing gives me one achievable goal which I can put my mental resources towards. It helps me turn down the volume on the hectic atmosphere in my brain. The anxiety may never go away, but I can at least get a breather.
Writing also helps me to feel like I’m contributing to a conversation. I may not want to talk about heavy topics at the moment, but I can at least talk about something. On that note, my posts might be mundane or silly for a while. Thank you guys for understanding.
Lastly, you guys are important to me. I don’t know most of you, but you are still taking valuable time out of your day to visit my blog or read a post or check up on me, even though you could be doing other things. I don’t take that lightly. I may have a small audience, but you guys are some of the best reader and followers that I could ask for. Thanks.
Anyways, I am going to try to put out at least one post a week for the rest of the summer. It might be more than that, but I want to have a goal. Hopefully, I can keep up with this. In the mean time, I’m going to try to keep my cool and sort out some of my thoughts.
Check back in soon for more content.