As Mother’s Day approaches (tomorrow in the UK and Ireland and over the next couple of weeks in many other countries), I would really like to make a public service announcement on behalf of many women out there.
Please, please, please don’t casually ask women when they are going to get pregnant or have kids.
Firstly, there are many women out there who do not want to have kids. This is completely valid, and to assume that every woman wants kids is sexist. Stop putting pressure on women to have kids. We already have an overpopulation issue in the world. It is perfectly okay that some people just won’t have kids.
Secondly, many women are struggling with infertility, can’t conceive, can’t carry a child, or have suffered miscarriage/s. You never know if someone is going through these things. Often, it is a very private experience. It is devastating. Asking that question can bring up painful memories or experiences as well as instilling a feeling of not being enough. It is hard enough to deal with these emotions on your own, but to be reminded of this on a day which is already sad for many women dealing with these issues is unbelievably cruel. Often these people will put on a smile, go out with the mothers in their lives, and put aside their own heartache. They are doing this because they really are happy for the people around them, even if it is a reminder of their own pains. They are there for others. Please be considerate of them.
Lastly and mostly, it just isn’t your business. Women don’t owe you an answer about their life choices. It doesn’t matter how close you are to the person. They don’t owe you an explanation. You don’t have to be involved in their personal decisions. This Mother’s Day, be kind to the people in your life, and let them have their privacy.