I’m struggling. Really struggling.
My anxiety is extremely high right now.
I’ve been having at least 3 anxiety attacks and 1 panic attack every single day for the past week.
I am out of my anxiety meds. The pharmacy is waiting for a new prescription from my doctor’s office, which doesn’t open until Monday. Grounding and relaxation techniques can only do so much.
At this exact moment, I feel miserable. My head is spinning. My hands are sweating. My heart is racing. My chest is tight. My body and face are tingling. I’m shaking. If I didn’t know what anxiety, anxiety attacks, and panic attacks felt like, I’d think something was seriously wrong with me. One leads into another leads into another. I cannot get a break from this feeling of impending doom. I feel like I’m going to die, even if that logically doesn’t make sense.
The only reason I am writing this is to show you the raw, vulnerable, behind-the-scenes look at my experience with my anxiety disorders and panic disorder. My anxiety hinders my ability to function in so many ways. I’m the kind of person that tries to hide the things I am going through though. It is a force of habit, but this is a habit I’m trying to break. If people never hear what mental illness is like, the stigma will only continue.
So, here it is. I’m dealing with heightened anxiety, panic, and stress.
I don’t know when this will pass. I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep tonight. I don’t know if I will be able to interact with people much. I don’t know if I’ll be able to think straight, let alone write well, until things get better. There are so many things I don’t know.
I do know that I will be okay. It’s just going to take some time.
Please be patient with me and have compassion.