It is the US National Coming Out Day. But instead of writing a post to the people coming out, I want to talk to those of you who are still closeted. You are seeing stories of others speaking their truth. It might be hard. I want you to know this:

You are valid. You are valuable. You matter.

This is a tumultuous time to exist as an LGBTQ+ person. You may not feel safe coming out. You may not be ready yet. There are a lot of reasons why you make the choice not to come out today. It’s okay. You do not owe your story or truth to anyone.

I publicly came out as bisexual 3 years ago. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make. I knew about my sexuality for around 12 years before I came out. It took a long time to come to terms with it myself. It took a long time to figure if I would be accepted by the people closest to me. There was also the added layer of worrying about biphobia and bi-erasure from inside and outside the LGBTQ+ community. And, the sad truth is that I did lose some friends when I came out. I figured out who really did love unconditionally though. I found out who my allies were. I surrounded myself with people who would support me in being the most true, authentic version of myself.

I am sharing my story with you because I want you to know that even I, who seems really confident in my sexuality, struggled.

Take your time. Come to terms with things in your own time. Do not feel any added pressure or obligation to come out today. It’s perfectly alright, and anyone who tells you differently is wrong.

You are seen, you are loved, and you are real whether you are out or not.

Yours truly,

A bisexual, panromantic, demiromantic, gender non-conforming individual

4 thoughts on “Dear People Still Closeted Today

    1. You are very welcome. I am so glad it is meaningful to people. I know the decision on when/if to come out is a hard one. I just want those who aren’t ready yet to know that they matter and are supported. 💙

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Thank you for saying something that really does need to be said. There is often lots of pressure to come out even before you’re ready to, so I think it’s important for people to take their time.


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