Debunking Bisexuality Myths

This week on Love, Geeky Girl, I broke down the myths surrounding bisexuality. I have known that I was bisexual since I was 9 or 10 years old. However, it took me well over a decade to come out to family and most friends. A lot of these myths contributed to 1) my self-hatred, and 2) my hesitancy in coming out. It took a long time for me to be comfortable in my own skin as a proud bisexual, demiromantic, GNC person. I hope that you take the time to read these myths and truths. Share it with the people who don’t understand or would like further clarification on the identity. And, drop any questions you have in the comments section. I am happy to answer anything that isn’t hostile, hate-driven, or derogatory. All my love, Dani

Love, Geeky Girl

By: Dani Kessel

Identifying as a bisexual person comes with a plethora of misconceptions about who I am, what I do, and how my identity impacts my queerness. Nearly every bisexual has to fight against these false ideas about who they are. What makes it even more frustrating is having to answer the same questions over and over again. In order to educate others and decrease the need for explanations, I decided to compile a list of some of the most common bisexuality myths and break them down. Here we go!

Myth: Bisexuality is just a phase before coming out as gay or straight.

Truth: Bisexuality is a completely valid identity. It is not a stepping stone. It is not a way station. People in same gender relationships aren’t gay. People in different gender relationships aren’t straight. Bisexuals exist. Period. 

In the past, folks may have come out as bi…

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Nine Healthy Things I Do In My Darkest Moments

Love, Geeky Girl

By: Dani Kessel

I am going through a really hard and emotional time right now. There are difficult things going on in my life. I feel like I am cracking inside. I had a really dark day recently. My anxiety was through the roof. Very irrational, destructive, and painful thoughts kept bouncing around in my skull. Unfortunately I cannot afford therapy right now, but I managed to use healthy coping mechanisms. I am doing mildly better, yet still struggling. 

In order to be productive and helpful for others in my shoes, I want to share the things that help when I come upon my darkest moments.

1. Reach out to friends.

Sometimes my friends are the only people who can talk to me through the worst moments. They can reach me when I’m spiraling and all logic fails. They may not be capable of stopping my anxiety or PTSD or…

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25 Gender-Coded Words To Avoid And Better Alternatives

Love, Geeky Girl

By: Dani Kessel

The patriarchy relies on women to keep each other down so that we don’t pay attention to the ways society is structured to keep us away from positions of power. We do so dialectically often without even realizing it. Words have power to influence the way we see the world. 

Fully grown adult women are called girls, infantilizing the gender as a whole. A woman airing grievances is called hormonal or hysterical, a term that origins back to the false idea of a floating uterus causing symptoms of anxiety, depression, etc. A woman who happens to be working and helping raise a family is a working-mom, denoting them as a caregiver first and foremost. These gender-coded words, among many others, wouldn’t normally be used to refer to a man. We need to reexamine the way we speak to and about one another to foster a culture of…

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Changes You Make In A Long Distance Relationship

Love, Geeky Girl

By: Dani Kessel

Before I married my partner, we spent three and a half years in long distance. We were told a million times over that our relationship would fail because “long distance never works.” We are living proof that isn’t entirely true though. Long distance is hard. It isn’t for the faint of heart. But, just like any other relationship dynamic, people grow and adapt to make things work. There are many positive internal changes you make when entering into a long distance relationship.

You learn to communicate effectively.

Being apart from each other means you have to make the most of your communication. Coordinating schedules, planning visits, arranging romantic and intimate time, and explicitly expressing your needs are all things you get in the habit of doing. When you speak, you are more inclined to have meaningful conversations. This skill translates well into all other relationships in your…

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I Won’t Be A Well-Behaved Woman

Love, Geeky Girl

By: Dani Kessel

If you were assigned female at birth or you identify/present as a woman, you are told on a daily basis what you are expected to be. You need to be soft spoken, mild mannered, friendly to everyone. Have the perfect body. Cross your legs. Don’t take up too much space. Smile more. Put others’ needs before your own. Don’t demand too much. Get married and settle down with a nice man. Procreate. Basically be the perfectly well-behaved woman. We’ve heard it all before.

The truth is that I will never be what society wants me to be. 

I am too tall. I don’t have flawless skin. I’m too curvy and weigh too much. I like comic books, video games, pop culture. I’m too nerdy for my own good. I don’t want the white picket fence. I’m not straight; I’m bi. I’m certainly gender nonconforming. I hate dresses…

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Tips For Maintaining Your Mental Health While On Vacation

Love, Geeky Girl

By: Dani Kessel

Many people rarely go on vacation, so they constantly expend energy and keep on the move to enjoy it to the fullest. They plan every second of every minute of every day. This drive can be great for adventures. It can also result in mental burnout if left unchecked though. Ask yourself this: Will you really enjoy your vacation if by the end you are too exhausted to get back to your daily life? As an avid traveler and someone who has moved around my whole life, I’ve picked up tips to help maintain a healthy mental state while on your trip. Here are my best suggestions as you plan everything out.

Schedule breaks to rest and recuperate.

This may sound strange in reference to vacation, but give yourself some empty time slots within your busy schedule. When you work in rest time, you are less likely…

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Practical Gifts For Your Chronically-Ill Loved Ones *Guest Post* — Love, Geeky Girl

Hi everybody! Here is my most recent post on Love, Geeky Girl. If you enjoyed it, let me know. Also, go subscribe to that blog too! Sam is always putting up great content to read. It’s the holiday season again! With Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, St. Nicholas Tag, Saturnalia, Winter Solstice, and Pancha Ganapati all coming … Continue reading Practical Gifts For Your Chronically-Ill Loved Ones *Guest Post* — Love, Geeky Girl